You'd never think it to look at me, a middle-aged mom fond of naps and marathon tub soaks, but I have serious speed issues. Take hot beverages, for instance. Hot beverages must be chugged. I'll brew a big ol' relaxing mug of tea---and down it in 6 gulps.
And then there's the walking; my legs devour miles. If I'm not striding, keeping steady rhythm with my feet while calculating exactly how far I've come/how far I have to go, I feel...ineffective. It's as if every on-foot journey is a mission, and I'm out to prove that I'm the gal for the job. Unfortunately for my stop-and-smell-the-tulips, slow-steppin' Dutchman, our casual walks together usually devolve into me sprinting ahead, anxious as a leash-bound spaniel in search of a fire hydrant.
It's the same when I'm out with Anna. I treat both my strollers like jogging strollers. Only they're not. Unfortunately, this means I've beaten the hell out of our little plastic Italian job, and the steel Brit-pram's shocks and joints have been so abused that the entire rig is beginning to resemble a tricked-out, chop shop low rider.
Stairs? Steps to be run up (unless I'm carrying the kid, of course). Now that I'm older (and wider), this often results in an embarrassing bout of stair top panting. Which sucks. Mightily. Especially since it---and by IT, I mean the whole panting dog thing---has gotten worse lately, along with a few other symptoms: strange neck throbs, days of throat soreness so severe my esophagial lining feels like it's been meat-grindered, and beyond-tired fatigue. First thought? Mononucleosis. But there's no fever. No serious body achage.
So.... after five or so days of this, I finally phoned my physician's office to schedule an appointment, only to find out that I'm no longer a "valid" patient. That's right, I've been axed, cut-loose, set adrift. Why? Because my last visit was approximately two and a half years ago, and if this particular doctor hasn't seen you in the past two years, you're out! Damn me and my ridiculously healthy, non-hypochondrical ways! What the? Anyone else experience this? Being penalized for not falling ill? 2005-03-04